A miscarriage or pregnancy loss is different from most other kinds of death and loss. Many times there is not grave to grieve at…nothing tangible to hold onto. There are ways to memorialize your baby after miscarriage or pregnancy loss though. I am going to share some things you can do to help you during these difficult days.
Ways to Memorialize Your Baby After Miscarriage or Pregnancy Loss
Plant a Tree or Shrub
Many people plant a tree or shrub in honor of their lost child. This could be at your home or possibly even at a city park. If you plant a tree in a public area you could get a dedication name plate to put on the tree. This is a wonderful way to give yourself a place to visit and remember.
There are so many amazing personalized jewelry options available now. If your baby was given a name you can go that route…if not many people will use angel wings, tiny feet, etc to signify their baby.
Charmed Collections has a beautiful necklace designed to represent motherhood in every form…even through miscarriage or child loss. This one of a kind pendant will be cherished. They also have a lovely “forever in my heart” set that is really nice.
Lockets can be a wonderful memorial item. Heartsmith Lockets has a huge selection of high quality lockets that would be a perfect way to memorialize your baby.
Memorial Garden Stone
When I had my miscarriage a group of coworkers gave me a beautiful memorial stone. It was such a meaningful gift and I really treasure it.
I did not miscarriage completely and had to have a D&C. I asked my doctor for the remains. My husband talked with a local funeral home and had the remains cremated for us. He brought them home to me in a small pewter heart that I keep by my bed. I know this is not the route for everyone…but it was perfect for me. I needed to keep those remains nearby and the small heart urn is perfect.
There are many different kinds of small urns available. You can even have the ashes put into wearable jewelry. Here are some examples below. You can click on the images to get more info on these.
Make a Memory Book
Your child may not have lived very long, but those weeks or months were precious. Each circumstance is different, but some people will have sonogram pictures, finding out you were pregnant pictures, etc. These items can all go into a memory book. This will be healing and therapeutic for you to make and it will give you something you can look at for years to come.
Get a Tattoo
Tattoo's are very common place now. Many people get tattoos to memorialize loved ones when they pass and losing a baby is no different. Some tattoos I have seen for miscarriage and pregnancy loss are angel wings, phrases, dates, baby feet.
Start a Memorial Fund
People don't always know how to help when someone has a pregnancy loss. If you decided to start a memorial fund for your baby this would be an excellent way for friends and family to help. You could take donations in your baby's memory instead of other gifts.
Your family can decide how the memorial funds will be used. Some ideas would be to use the funds to help your local Neonatal Intensive Care Unit with needs they have, helping organizations that educate about miscarriage, etc.
Have an Annual Memorial Service
Maybe you want to do a small memorial service each year for your baby. This could be just immediate family or you could extend it to your larger social circle. Most larger cities have a service on October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I know our local hospital has a service each year at this time that is open to anyone to attend.
Adopt a Cause
Sometimes we need a new focus other than our grief. It may help to adopt a new cause in the arena of miscarriage and pregnancy loss. Some great organizations are March of Dimes, Sweet Pea Project and First Candle. You can contact the organization and see where you can help. You may be able to do volunteer work, make blankets, organize a fundraiser, etc. All of this can be done in the name of your baby.
Personalized Stuffed Animal
You may have baby items that had already been purchased before your miscarriage. Stuffed animals could be made out of a baby blanket or even some baby clothing. This animal could even be embroidered with a name, saying, date, etc to personalize it even more. A personalized stuffed animal may also be therapeutic for any siblings involved in the pregnancy loss. This weighted bereavement bear is a good choice.
I do a family ornament tree for Christmas. It is full of ornaments that represent my children. I want to represent our lost baby on the tree too. There are so many different ornaments out there, but here are a few that I really loved. The photo ornaments could have a sonogram picture inside.
Certificate of Life Portrait
Portraits by Dana offers beautiful, personalized and custom drawings for families who have had a miscarriage or pregnancy loss. She does wonderful work and these would make great memorials. There are many options available on her website from basic to complex.
Name a Star After Your Baby
Maybe looking into the night sky and seeing a star named for your baby will be a comfort to you. If so..this might be a good way to memorialize your infant. There is also an option to name a crater on the moon after a loved one.
Give Your Baby a Name
If you miscarried before you could learn the sex of your child you may feel like it is impossible to give that baby a name. I have personally felt this exact same way. Recently I have thought more and more about this and believe that I CAN name my baby if I choose to…..I feel in my gut that the child was a boy and I would be inclined to choose a boy's name.
If you know the sex of your child it makes the task a little easier. Many people feel more closure if they can name the child that was lost. It is easier to refer to your child by a name instead of “our lost baby”. It is NEVER too late to take this step…it has been almost 5 years since my miscarriage and I am still thinking about doing this.
Keepsake Dolls & Figurines
A unique way to memorialize your baby is to get a keepsake doll. I have found 2 places that make these items.
Angel in My Arms offers custom dolls to match your baby's gestational age. The dolls are made of flannel and cotton. These are very sweet dolls and may be very comforting.
SarahsAngelsGifts makes small clay baby memorial figurines that are a wonderful item for families. Each of these figures is handmade and no two are alike.
Home Decor Keepsakes
I will never forget my lost child and I don't want other people to forget either. Having a tasteful home decor keepsake is one way to keep your baby's memory alive.
I love this keepsake photo frame that could hold a sonogram picture.
Windchimes are a good memorial item because every time they chime you can think of your baby.
I Am Sorry For Your Loss
If you are reading this article….then you or someone you love has had a pregnancy loss and I am so very sorry. I shared my story HERE and welcome you to email me anytime. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better…but sometimes it does help to have a memorial of some kind.