I believe that exchanging gifts with your spouse is important. My husband and I have been married over 27 years now and we still exchange gifts each year at Christmas.
5 Reasons Exchanging Gifts With Your Spouse is Important
During our 17 years of marriage, we have chosen not to give each other gifts a few times…and I always regretted it on Christmas morning. I know that a lot of couples don't exchange gifts. I have heard a lot of reasons for not giving gifts to your spouse, but I would like to share five reasons why exchanging gifts with your spouse is essential!
YOU KNOW YOUR SPOUSE IS THINKING OF YOU
This may sound very basic and even kind of self-involved….why is it important to me that my spouse is thinking of me? I don't know about your house….but my house is busy and can be very chaotic. My husband works a lot of hours…we have a lot of things to THINK about!
It is probably safe to say that many relationships are overlooked…at least judging by the number of divorces in this country. Knowing my husband is thinking about me makes me feel warm and happy inside!
YOU WILL PAY CLOSER ATTENTION TO YOUR SPOUSE
I try to pay attention throughout the year to what my husband says he likes or wants. It may be months until Christmas, but I will write it down or bookmark a website to go back and get that item later.
I can tell you that my husband has been very good about this throughout our marriage. He will remember something I commented on, and chances are he will get it for me at some point. You can read a story about some mud he gave me HERE. When he does this for me, it tells me that I am important to him…important enough for him to listen to what I like and REMEMBER! That makes me feel valued in our relationship.
IT MAY BE THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE
If you have never taken the Love Languages Test….do it today. Go HERE and read more about Love Languages and why you need to find out what language you and your spouse speak. Basically, in a nutshell, a love language is the manner in which you feel love. Receiving Gifts is my #1 love language.
When my husband gives me a thoughtful gift that speaks LOVE to me very loudly! Speaking to your spouse in one of their primary love languages can solidify the relationship. The book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is one that every couple should read.
IT WILL PREPARE YOU FOR AN EMPTY NEST
Right now our home is full. Full of children and full of fun, laughter and joy on Christmas morning. I know one day I won't be up late on Christmas Eve making magic for my children when they wake up on Christmas morning. Eventually, I will wake up on Christmas morning and it will just be me and my husband. It would be very depressing for me if we didn't exchange gifts. Christmas morning can be a romantic and thoughtful time to be together.
IT IS BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE
I love giving gifts. Taking the time to find gifts I think my husband will love is something I enjoy doing. I like to find unusual gift ideas that he would never guess he is getting. It may be that your spouse also loves to surprise and delight you….but won't be able to do that if there is a “no gift” rule.
When you’re shopping for your husband’s gifts, think about finding things that really show how well you know him. A versatile clay-based styling pomade might feel like a small thing, but it could be the kind of upgrade he’d really appreciate for his daily grooming routine. You could also surprise him with a high-end coffee grinder or a set of precision grilling tools to make weekend barbecues even more fun. It’s all about those thoughtful little touches!
OBSTACLES TO EXCHANGING GIFTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
I realize that there are some caveats to this topic. The years that we chose not to give each other gifts were years that things were tight financially. I wish we had been more creative during those lean years.
- We could have done “coupon” books for each other.
- We could have each planned a date night and given that idea to the other person as a gift.
- Making gifts is also an option. There are lots of easy DIY ideas for men and women.
- You can set a price limit that works with your budget.
- Another idea is to just fill a stocking for each other.
I will not sit here and tell you that I have loved every gift my husband has bought me. I haven't, but my husband and I agreed long ago that we would not get upset if we wanted to return something. My husband has bought me clothing before, and there have been items that I returned. Knowing he took the time to go out and look for something he thought I would like means the world to me.
I believe that ROMANCE is lacking in marriages today. I think that exchanging gifts, however small, can be a way to bring back some romance and thoughtfulness to many marriages.
What are Your Christmas Gift Traditions With Your Spouse?
I would love to hear about your traditions in this area….do you and your spouse exchange gifts? Do you think exchanging gifts with your spouse is important? Leave me a comment and let me know!!
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We chose not to exchange gifts- not at Christmas, not on birthdays and on our anniversary we go do something together- may just be dinner or it may be a weekend to NY…it just depends on the year and our schedules.
We made this decision because we don’t materialize our relationship…might sound strange, I know 🙂 We’ve never been into showing our love with presents or gifts- but rather by our time and attention. For example- I’m lying in bed now fighting a cold and just hearing my husband giving our 4 kids baths, making their lunches for tomorrow, helping with homework because he knows I do not feel good is worth more than any gift at Christmas.
I think it’s great for those couples who chose to give gifts- but it’s never been important to us to celebrate with material items. However I know we’re an odd set 🙂
Every couple has to do what is best for them! Thanks for sharing what works for you!!
I don’t plan on having any kids in my Marriage because I want to devote all my love and energy to my spouse and my passions (which don’t include children). Seeing this article made my day because I was always wondering how I could recreate the Christmas gift experience for a Childfree Couple, and despite the fact that you are a mother, this article really fulfilled my wish.
I am glad this helped you, Taylor. Having children is definitely not for everyone and I wish you and your spouse all the best…and many wonderful Christmas celebrations together!!
I am 61, and my wife is a few years older. We have not exchanged gifts at Christmas in about 20 years. She used to return about 90% of the gifts that I got her – and the same for me. It is such a pain in the butt to return things, that we decided to skip exchanging gifts. She says to me “how on earth would you know what I want?” I detest shopping, so I am fine with the arrangement. We are fairly well off financially, so I tell my wife to buy whatever she wants during the year – we are fortunate that way. I do, however, feel a bit sad on Christmas morning that I have not given her anything.